shitposting loudly
by peri doot
Summary: remastered edition memethyst goes to tumblr and shitposts


_(A/N: This is purposefully badfic, meant to be absolutely hilarious. I can do better than this. Meanwhile, enjoy your laughs. Also, listen to Brodyquest while reading this, or a song of similar caliber.)_

Chapter 1:

Memethyst got out of bed one morning and opened the door of her bedroom in the deep dark corners of DeviantArt. Galaxystarr was at the door, smiling brightly. Galaxystarr was the daughter of a demon and a half dragon and she was also a witch, a fairy, Japanese and a neko girl, and she had secret superpowers and a superpowered evil side. Her kitty ears twonged. Memethyst shuddered. She seemed to be the only one who didn't like Galaxystarr. However, every time she tried to shoot the damn thing, the bullet curved around her. Memethyst's mane of cat hair blew into her face as wind began to blow back Galaxystarr's perfect natural neon hair. She tried to punch Galaxystarr, but her fist locked up. "Hey, Memethyst! I need your help! You need to-" Memethyst groaned and shoved past her. "Darn you, Memethyst! The author'll get you for sure!"

Memethyst wandered through DeviantArt. She needed to find her way to Tumblr so she could shitpost. Suddenly, somebody screamed. "Duck!" A crappy furry OC flew above Memethyst's head, grazing the massive purple hairpoof. "That was close," she muttered. "I almost became edgy." She stopped at a KFC and bought a chicken bucket, which she ate as she entered a gallery of FNAF fanart. She pulled out her whip and began to slice fanarts in half as they flew at her, preserving her character from becoming really edgy. After ducking under the last sexualized animatronic, she made it to Facebook. Status updates and old lady memes drifted lazily through the air, dropping Minion pictures onto the ground. "Whoa- gah- yipe!" Memethyst dodged them, and leapt over a roadblock made of "like if you _" posts. There were a few more Minion posts, and a river filled with selfies. The river was large and wide, but a rant post nearby served as a bridge. She nearly fell into a pit of conspiracy posts, but quickly reached the edge of Facebook and popped out into Twitter.

Twitter was a huge clusterfuck, filled with millions of small posts. She had to climb up a staircase of moving tweets, and then jump across some images. Then, after jumping from tweet to tweet for a while, she found a gap between tweets. Luckily, a Jaden Smith tweet was floating above, and she whipped it and swung across, abandoning the whip as it became really edgy. "Wow, there's a lot of dangerous edginess traps on the internet. Better be safe, or I'm going to turn into a complete emo." She pulled out another whip, and managed to grab onto a blue bird flying across, shouting random celebrity tweets. Below her, thousands of tweets churned, making her hold onto her whip tighter. It showed no signs of strain because Memethyst was short. A shitty meme flew past her face, and she punched it into dust. She swung up onto the bird, tied the whip around its neck, and began to steer it. It shut up fast, and Memethyst pulled out yet another whip, whipping terrible tweets into nothingness. Then she arrived at Instagram.

Selfies and food pictures everywhere. Memethyst happily devoured the food pictures, but quickly jumped over, ducked under, and swung side to side of every selfie. They were highly volatile and dangerous. She ended up getting whacked in the nose with one, so in a fit of rage she started kicking and hitting all the posts. Eventually, she ended up just hopping a selfie stick and riding it around the selfies, whacking them with her whip until the razor-sharp edge of a particularly terrible filter slashed it in two. Then she entered the comments. Flamers singed her hair, emojis battered her, and hashtags from the posts homed in on her. Even double-whipping didn't work against them, so she grabbed a large group of hate comments and swung it around, keeping her powerful thighs gripped around the selfie stick. After taking a detour through Reddit, which was a terrible idea, she found her way to Snapchat.

Dick pics drifted around her, as well as memes and weird filters. She liked the memes, but the dick pics were painful to watch. "Lewd. Lewd, lewd, lewd... lewd..." She slashed through the penis snaps. Google+ was next, and worse than Facebook. It was getting tedious for the author to write, so Memethyst cut a pathway through the fourth wall. She walked calmly to Tumblr, and began to shitpost. Then, something rose up from her memes. It was a rare Pepe! Angry at the frog thing, she hit it with her whip. He was fucking pissed now.

The green frog charged up a Pepe Beam, which Memethyst blocked with her whip, until it broke and it blew her back. "Oh, now you're gonna get it!" She spin-dashed into Pepe, battering him with whip blasts and slashes until he hit her with dank kush. The smell of the chronic filled her nostrils, both grossing her out and invigorating her, and Memethyst grabbed a post with her whip and hit him in the eye. He shot Doritos at her, but she was immune to Doritos so she leapt at him and slashed at him. He clawed at her arm, then splashed her with Mountain Dew. She lay panting on the ground for a second, then got up and charged. "Get off my blog!" Her powerful kicks were no match for Pepe's memery, and he threw her down before charging up a ball of memes. Memes and memelords came towards the ball and began charging it.

Memethyst realized what he was doing. He just wanted to recruit her to fill the world with memes! She smirked, nodded, and drifted up to charge the ball with shitposts.

Finally, the deed was done. She was allowed to do the honours. Memethyst flew up to the ball. "Boop." She flicked the massive meme ball, and rained the Memepocalypse down on everything. The memes spread to the entire world like zombies. Memethyst laughed like a madwoman, and charged her newfound memepowers and began to shoot meme blasts at people who didn't succumb to the memes. Small groups began to form, battling the memes that rained down on the planet. Memethyst found them, and shot them with memebombs, causing them to become memers themselves. Memes walked the earth, turning normal places into meme shops, meme factories and memer meeting places, busting into safe houses for rebels and tossing meme bombs into the crowds.

Eventually, the world was consumed by memes, and everything returned to a near-normal state. And Memethyst was happy.

 **THE END**


End file.
